Malcolm James Furst
Words, words, wordsArchive for broken
Needed
I think I’m broken beyond repair, and that
no one will ever see me for who I really am
but I keep on keepin’ on because it’s always been about me.
And a world full of self-absorbed people who feel the same.
We are all so god-damned particular in our fat-cat
lives of relative wealth and abundance.
My ancestors didn’t have that luxury.
They knew a life in which they couldn’t survive alone,
and so they grasped at whoever would look them in the eye.
And here I am knowing that a life alone is NOT what I want,
but I have to be comfortable being alone before I can be comfortable with someone,
or so they say.
Well, there was a time when that was NOT the point.
The point was to be with someone who would have you,
and to survive in a cold world,
a world where you made your own heat.
Now, how would that look in the want ads.
Wanted: someone to clamber through life with.
Back then, it wasn’t so much about “wanted.”
It was more about “needed.”
Perspective
Broken and desperate for someone to fix me and knowing that there is nothing to fix leaves me in an odd state, a state of frustrating acceptance that smells like apathy.
Seeing the great arc of my life, I am impressed with how much I’ve accomplished by living in the moment, but not this moment–not this moment.
At THIS moment, I am empty, and when I live in the moment, what I feel seems eternal, and eternal emptiness, though so ZEN seems so lonely.
Maybe I need to turn my head just so to get a different perspective.
2/14
In both moments of passion and moments of reason
I wonder if I have the heart for this season
of chocolate and roses and fluttering hearts
that always end up broken.
Broken (inappropriately lyrical)
Oh, I feel bro ken.
Though I know it isn’t true,
these words unspo ken
by others and by you
make me feel bro ken.
Hey, what am I to do
to fix this bro ken bo dy
……….bro ken mind and
….bro ken heart and
bro ken life…
Oh, I feel bro ken.
What am I to do?
